The Dumb Supper - A Feast With the Dead Taken from http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/samhainoctober31/p/Dumb_Supper.htm.
Author Patti Wigington

Speaking to the Dead:
Although traditionally a séance is a good way to communicate with those who have crossed into the spirit world, it's also perfectly fine to talk to them at other times. You may find yourself walking into a room and suddenly reminded of someone you've lost, or catching a whiff of a familiar scent. For me personally, every February I find myself picking over birthday cards and thinking to myself how funny my grandfather would find this one or that one. I make a point of telling him about them, even though he died in 2002. You don't need a fancy or formal ritual to speak to the dead. They hear you.

How Do We Know They're Listening?:
In some spiritual paths, one may be viewed as crazy -- or at the very least, a little bit daffy -- if they speak to the dead. But think of the people you know who have lost a spouse, particularly one they were married to for a long time. Many of them will tell you they talk to their deceased loved one. We can ask them for assistance, for companionship, or just for them to hear our words. Chances are good that if you ask, your life will change significantly.

What Can We Say to Them?:
Ask anyone who's lost a loved one, and there's a good chance they have something they didn't get to say. Whether it's "I love you", "I forgive you," or just plain old, "I really miss you," there's nearly always something we wanted to say but never got around to. When you talk to the dead, share with them the things in your life that are important. Maybe you need to let Grandma know that you're finally going to have that baby girl she'd been hoping for. Or perhaps you need to tell Cousin Joe you're sorry you broke his iPod. Whatever it is, if it's on your mind say it. Only then will you be able to move on.

An Altar to the Ancestors:
In many cultures, ancestor worship is an ancient practice. Although traditionally found more in African and Asian societies, more and more Pagans of European heritage are beginning to embrace this idea. After all, we all want to know where we came from. You can build an altar to honour your ancestors, featuring photos, heirlooms, and even a family tree sheet. Leave it up all year long, or set it out at Samhain. This is a good time to perform a ritual for Honouring the Ancestors.

Why on Samhain?:
Why hold a Dumb Supper on Samhain? Well, it's traditionally known as the night when the veil between our world and the spirit world is at its most fragile. It's the night when we know for sure the dead will hear us speak, and maybe even speak back. It's a time of death and resurrection, of new beginnings and fond farewells.

Menus and Table Settings:
Your menu choices are up to you, but because it's Samhain, you may wish to make the traditional Soul Cakes, as well as serving dishes with apples, late fall vegetables, and game if available. Set the table with a black cloth, black plates and cutlery, black napkins. Use candles as your only source of light -- black if you can get them.
Realistically, not everyone has black dishware sitting around. In many traditions, it's perfectly acceptable to use a combination of black and white, although black should be the predominant colour.

Host/Hostess Duties:
When you're hosting a Dumb Supper, clearly the point is that no one can speak --- and that makes a host's job very tricky. It means you have the responsibility of anticipating each guest's needs without them communicating verbally. Depending on the size of your table, you may want to make sure each end has its own salt, pepper, butter, etc. Also, watch your guests to see if anyone needs a drink refill, an extra fork to replace the one they just dropped, or more napkins.

The Dumb Supper:
In some Pagan and Wiccan traditions, it has become popular to hold a Dumb Supper in honour of the dead. In this case, the word "dumb" refers to being silent. The origins of this tradition have been fairly well debated -- some claim it goes back to ancient cultures, others believe it's a relatively new idea. Regardless, it's one that's observed by many people around the world.

When holding a Dumb Supper, there are a few simple guidelines to follow. First of all, make your dining area sacred, either by casting a circle, smudging, or some other method. Turn off phones and televisions, eliminating outside distractions.

Secondly, remember that this is a solemn and silent occasion, not a carnival. It's a time of silence, as the name reminds us. You may wish to leave younger children out of this ceremony. Ask each adult guest to bring a note to the dinner. The note's contents will be kept private, and should contain what they wish to say to their deceased friends or relatives.

Set a place at the table for each guest, and reserve the head of the table for the place of the Spirits. Although it's nice to have a place setting for each individual you wish to honour, sometimes it's just not feasible. Instead, use a tea light candle at the Spirit setting to represent each of the deceased. Shroud the Spirit chair in black or white cloth.

No one may speak from the time they enter the dining room. As each guest enters the room, they should take a moment to stop at the Spirit chair and offer a silent prayer to the dead. Once everyone is seated, join hands and take a moment to silently bless the meal. The host or hostess, who should be seated directly across from the Spirit chair, serves the meal to guests in order of age, from the oldest to youngest. No one should eat until all guests -- including Spirit -- are served.

When everyone has finished eating, each guest should get out the note to the dead that they brought. Go to the head of the table where Spirit sits, and find the candle for your deceased loved one. Focus on the note, and then burn it in the candle's flame (you may wish to have a plate or small cauldron on hand to catch burning bits of paper) and then return to their seat. When everyone has had their turn, join hands once again and offer a silent prayer to the dead.

Everyone leaves the room in silence. Stop at the Spirit chair on your way out the door, and say goodbye one more time.


How To Honour the Ancestors at Samhain Taken from http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/samhainoctober31/ht/Ancestor_Rite.htm.
Author Patti Wigington


For many modern Pagans and Wiccans, there has been a resurgence of interest in our family histories. We want to know where we came from and whose blood runs through our veins. Although ancestor worship has traditionally been found more in Africa and Asia, many Pagans with European heritage are beginning to feel the call of their ancestry. This rite can be performed either by itself, or on the third night of Samhain, following the End of Harvest celebration and the Honouring of the Animals.

1, First, decorate your altar table -- you may have already gotten it set up during the End of Harvest rite or for the Ritual for Animals. Decorate your altar with family photos and heirlooms. If you have a family tree chart, place that on there as well. Add postcards, flags, and other symbols of the country your ancestors came from. If you're lucky enough to live near where your family members are buried, make a grave rubbing and add that as well. In this case, a cluttered altar is perfectly acceptable -- after all, each of us is a blend of many different people and cultures.

2, Have a meal standing by to eat with the ritual. Include lots of dark bread, apples, fall vegetables, and a jug of cider or wine. Set your dinner table, with a place for each family member, and one extra plate for the ancestors. You may want to bake some Soul Cakes.

If your family has household guardians, include statues or masks of them on your altar. Finally, if a relative has died this year, place a candle for them on the altar. Light candles for other relatives, and as you do so, say the person's name aloud. It's a good idea to use tea lights for this, particularly if you have a lot of relatives to honour.

3, Once all the candles have been lit, the entire family should circle the altar. The oldest adult present leads the ritual. Say:

This is the night when the gateway between
our world and the spirit world is thinnest.
Tonight is a night to call out those who came before us.
Tonight we honour our ancestors.
Spirits of our ancestors, we call to you,
and we welcome you to join us for this night.
We know you watch over us always,
protecting us and guiding us,
and tonight we thank you.
We invite you to join us and share our meal.

4, The oldest family member then serves everyone else a helping of whatever dishes have been prepared, except for the wine or cider. A serving of each food goes on the ancestors' plate before the other family members receive it. During the meal, share stories of ancestors who are no longer among the living -- this is the time to remember Grandpa's war stories he told you as a child, tell about when Aunt Millie used salt instead of sugar in the cake, or reminisce about summers spent at the family homestead in the mountains.

5, When everyone has finished eating, clear away all the dishes, except for the ancestors' plate. Pour the cider or wine in a cup, and pass it around the circle (it should end at the ancestor's place). As each person receives the cup, they recite their genealogy, like so:

I am Susan, daughter of Joyce, the daughter of Malcolm, son of Jonathan...

and so forth. Feel free to add in place names if you like, but be sure to include at least one generation that is deceased. For younger family members, you may wish to have them only recite back to their grandparents, just because otherwise they can get confused.

6, Go back as many generations as you can, or (in the case of people who have done a lot of genealogy research) as many as you can remember. You may be able to trace your family back to William the Conqueror, but that doesn't mean you have it memorized. After each person recites their ancestry, they drink from the cider cup and pass it to the next person.

7, A quick note here -- many people are adopted. If you are one them, you are fortunate enough to be able to choose whether you wish to honour your adoptive family, your biological family, or a combination of the two. If you don't know the names of your birth parents or their ancestry, there's nothing wrong with saying, "Daughter of a family unknown." It's entirely up to you. The spirits of your ancestors know who you are, even if you don't know them yet.

8, After the cup has made its way around the table, place it in front of the ancestors' plate. This time, a younger person in the family takes over, saying:

This is the cup of remembrance.
We remember all of you.
You are dead but never forgotten,
and you live on within us.

Take some time to meditate on the value of family, how fortunate we are to be able to know the connections of kin and clan, and the value of heritage. If your family has a tradition of music or folktales, share those as a way to wrap up the ritual. Otherwise, allow the candles to burn out on their own. Leave the plate and cup on the altar overnight.

Tips:
If you didn't do a separate ritual for animals, you can add photos and candles for deceased pets to your family altar.
If you like, you may wish to follow this ritual with a Seance.


How To Hold a Seance

A séance is an event that can either be fantastic, or a real mess. Which one it is will depend on how much preparation goes into it. With a little bit of planning and thought ahead of time, you can pave the way for your séance to go smoothly. Certainly, it's a good idea to expect the unexpected -- after all, the dead are hardly predictable -- but by setting yourself a few guidelines in advance, you can make sure that everyone has the best experience possible.

1, Plan your guest list: Figure out how many people you're going to have -- and make sure the space you're using will allow them all. If your living room only seats eight people comfortably, don't invite fifteen! Also, be sure that everyone attending is open-minded to the spirit world. People who are adamantly "non-believers" bring a certain amount of negative energy, and this can be disruptive. You may also find that it adversely effects your communication with the spirits during your séance.

2, Create a Spirit-Friendly Atmosphere: Most people like to conduct a séance at a round or oval table, but if neither is available, don't worry. Drape the table with fabric or sheets -- some people prefer light colours to attract "friendly" spirits, but it's a matter or personal preference. If you use incense, be sure that no one in your group is allergic to it. Place incense somewhere away from the table, rather than on the table itself. Candles are a nice addition as well -- not only do they provide some visibility, but there's a school of thought that believes spirits are attracted to heat and light sources.

3, Common Sense: Help everyone get comfortable by offering refreshments before you begin. Make sure that guests will be respectful of the spirits, and of other guests. Turn off all cell phones. If anyone needs to go to the bathroom or have a smoke, do so before you begin. Set the thermostat at a comfortable temperature -- remember that spirit activity can cause some fluctuation in levels of cold or heat. Once everyone is seated, you can help everyone relax by doing a short guided mediation, offering a prayer, or casting a protective circle, if your tradition requires you to do so.

4, During the Seance: Although many people like to do this, you don't have to hold hands to raise energy. In fact, if a séance goes on too long, it can get downright uncomfortable. Whoever is acting as the leader of the séance -- the medium -- should ask the spirits to join the group. If there is a specific spirit you are trying to contact, ask for them by name. For example, now would be the time to say, "Dear Auntie Gertrude, we respectfully ask that you honour us with your presence this evening." In some séances, spirits are summoned by chanting -- this will be up to your medium to decide on.

5, As long as the spirits seem willing to reply, you can carry on a question and answer session with them. Bear in mind that spirits respond in many different ways. Sometimes there will be a tangible reaction -- a tap, a thump, a soft breeze. Other times -- particularly if you have a room full of very psychically gifted people -- the spirit may choose to respond through another person. This may be the medium, or any other guest. The individual may simply "get a message" to pass along, which they would then share, such as, "Your Auntie Gertrude wants you to know she isn't in pain anymore."

6, Party Time: Sometimes, particularly if you have a group of psychically gifted individuals as guests, you may get several spirits arriving all at once, chattering away. This is not cause for alarm, but it does take some managing, because they've all got something to say. Treat it like you would any other conversation with a large group of people -- let each spirit get their turn to deliver the message they came with, and then move on to the next one. Also, bear in mind that not all spirits are from departed humans -- deceased pets may also have a message to pass along.

7, Unwanted Entities: Just like at any other party, sometimes a séance will bring an uninvited guest. In this case, when you have a spirit that seems malevolent or mischievous, someone needs to let them know they're unwelcome. Typically, this will be the medium who is leading the séance, who will usually say something like, "You are not wanted here, but we thank you for your presence. Now it is time for you to move on."

If an entity arrives that seems angry or hostile and will not leave, no matter what you do, end the séance. Chances are good that it's been attracted to someone in your group who is dysfunctional.

8, Closing the Door: When you're done with the séance, it's important that guests thank the spirits for coming to visit. After all, you would do so if you had living guests drop in!

If one of your attendees seems to have slipped into a trance or a sleep-like state during the séance, allow them to return gradually, on their own. Do NOT shake them awake. Chances are they'll have a message for someone once they're back among the group.

9, Close the séance by telling the spirits farewell, thanking them, and asking them to move along. You may want to offer a small blessing or prayer as a way of ending the formal séance, but bear in mind that some spirits like to hang around after the séance has officially finished. If they do, it's okay. They're probably just curious, and they may return to visit you later in the evening during a dream sequence.

Tips:
Before you begin your seance, smudge the area with sage or sweet grass for ritual cleansing.

Make sure you've eliminated potential distractions, such as children or ringing telephones. Interestingly, many pets seem to come and go through spirit activity without causing any disruption. Cats in particular tend to be very curious about what's going on.

Your guests may wish to bring an object that belonged to a deceased person, as a way of strengthening the connection. Photographs are also good links to the dead.

Blessed Be